Instructions for Inebriation
According to the dictionary, a drive is “an inner stimulus aimed at satisfying strong, often vital needs.” According to studies, excessive alcohol consumption, known as “bacchanalia” in Latin or “binge drinking” in English, is more common in rural regions, since the lack of intellectual stimuli there obviously makes it more “vital.” In cities you smoke pot, in the country you knock back drinks until you can’t walk – though driving home is no problem. On the following pages, we’ll show you how to use the simplest of means and ingredients to satisfy your pleasure drive without having to lower your standards.
Cold Pussy
150ml red wine, 150ml Coca Cola
There are a thousand names for the feeling of being in love, and it’s no different with this classic. But they both have one thing in common – a deep connection to the color red.
Schüttelkorn
2cl grain brandy, 1x fizzy powder
Instructions
Tilt back your head
Put the powder in your mouth
Put the brain brandy in your mouth
Shake your head!
Swallow
Milv
6cl milk, 6cl vodka
It’s no secret that reduction doesn’t have to stand in the way of a sensual taste explosion. Quite the contrary. Drinkers will crave it like a baby craves breast milk.
U-Boot
0,33l beer, 2cl Shot of your choice
What kind of warhead to arm the torpedo with is up to the captain. The impact is guaranteed to do some damage no matter what.
Flying Hirsch (The poor man’s cocaine!)
1 can energy drink, 2cl Jägermeister
Klopfer
Instructions
Check the number on the bottom of the bottle
Knock the bottle on the table
Put the bottle top on your nose
Hold the bottle between your teeth
Tilt back your head
Remove the bottle from your gums
Switch to decent drinks!
This classy libation is available in a wide variety of flflavors, for example “plum,” “fifig vodka,” “cream liqueur with whisky,” “sour cherry with vodka,” and “pink grapefruit.” The German manufacturer’s website claims: “Like no other brand, Kleiner Klopfer stands for joy in life, special friendships, exuberant and uncomplicated togetherness, and a distinct sense of belonging.” Which pretty much says it all.
Black Sow
0,75l vodka, 2 bags tyrskisk peber candy
At first glance, this jet-black medicine might look like a deadly nerve poison. But Anatolian licorice does the liver far more good than harm.
Dead Aunt
1x whipped cream, 30g cocoa powder, 250ml milk, 60ml rum
The etymology of this drink is a mystery begging to be solved. According to legend, an aunt from the North Frisian Island of Föhr moved to the United States to escape her humble origins. “Why is the drink called what it is called?“ Answer: When she died, her poor family could only bring her back "home" across the Atlantic in a cocoa box. The funeral feast was rum, cocoa and whipped cream.
